Gentlemen, another After Action Report from 'Sabre' our independent and totally impartial reporter who is covering the conflict.
Yesterday on the green fields of the Sandal Castle Common, King Richard (Ian) offered the seemingly outnumber Lancastrian scum, the Duke of Somerset (Lawrence), the opportunity to join with the God fearing Yorkist cause. The Lancastrian trash spurned the Kings generous terms, and sought to gain an early advantage by advancing on the King and his army whilst they were at prayer. Enraged at such unchivalrous action the King Richard led his most noble knights in a glorious charge across the battlefield. As the cowardly mercenaries hired by the unworthy Lancastrians fled in abject terror, victory looked certain for the King. However, Percy Earl of Northumberland (Dave H) at that very moment did reveal that he had treacherously switched sides to the godless Lancastrian cause. Long will the Yorkist cause remember this action, and not rest until his rotting head adorns the walls of York. As the King cleaved his way through the Duke of Somerset's army he was heard to say, "I shall have my vengeance, in this life or the next !". In the fading light the remaining Yorkists sold their lives dearly cutting down hundreds of the ungodly Lancastrian filth before they eventually succumbed under the greater weight of numbers.
The King back as his Headquarters has declared that a reward of £ 500 will be paid to who ever can bring him the head of the despicable traitor Percy, and called on the Pope himself to excommunicate the coward, to ensure that his godless soul rots in the very deepest pits of hell.
Senior Reporter at the Yorkist Times.
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