Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Mortimer’s Cross - AAR By Lord Stanley

Last Thursday we put paid to the lowly Lancastrian and nailed the body of the Lancastrian leaders to some nice new crosses at a place called Mortimer - henceforth known as ‘Mortimer’s Cross’ (sort of twisted version of history and local town naming etc etc…).

Lord Warwick seemed to have been affected by the heat by deploying his forces alongside the other Lancastrian Lord but soon remedied this by bidding the Yorkist leaders a fond fair well and withdrew his forces to cut off any Lancastrian retreat. Rumours of Warwick ‘The Kingmaker’ changing sides have been confirmed as being untrue and merely dirty Lancastrian propaganda.

Once this little mishap had been resolved good King Richard and I set about what was left of the rebel peasants. After a very short engagement the entire enemy host was put to flight (or death) having seen the demise of their leader, who was allegedly eaten by the Kings own warhorse- Hi ho Silver!!

Secure in his glory as true King of all England, King Richard slept on the field of battle ready to march on the morrow and defeat more scum- so in the words of Lady Delia of Norwich “Come on, where are you?”

On other matters has anyone seen my daddy??

Lord Stanley (The glint in the postmans eye)

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